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Who or what is really stopping you from reaching your success? Sit with that for a moment. Because I’m about to give you an answer, and you might not like it. The truth? The only person stopping you is you. No one else is holding you back. Every other answer is just an excuse, a soft blanket wrapped around your fears. The world isn’t conspiring against you. No one is plotting your downfall. They’re too busy planning their own rise. The biggest obstacles in your way are the ones you’ve created.

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Hello and welcome back, ready to conquer another day of personal growth and insight. Today, we’re going to dive into an area that we all slip into sometimes—complaining—and more importantly, how to break free from it. But first, let’s get into the right state of mind. Find your center, whether you’re walking or sitting down, and let’s do what we always do—focus on grounding ourselves before we dive into today’s session.

Now we’re ready to dive into something that might challenge your usual habits—complaining. Let’s break that cycle and unlock something better.

You’ve probably heard the saying before, maybe more than once, but Marcus Aurelius, the great philosopher-emperor, had it nailed: “Don’t be overheard complaining, not even to yourself.” It’s one of those timeless pieces of wisdom that many of us brush off, but today, we’re going to unpack why this isn’t just good advice—it’s essential for living a better life.

Here’s the thing: Complaining feels good for a moment, doesn’t it? You get to voice your frustrations, and there’s a brief rush of relief. Someone nods in agreement, and for a second, it feels like you’re sharing a connection. But that relief is temporary—it fades fast, and soon enough, you’re back at it, needing to vent again because that initial high was short-lived. Complaining becomes a cycle, an easy way out that doesn’t actually lead anywhere. The problem with venting is it requires zero thinking or action—it’s just noise. And here’s what’s worse: It tricks you into feeling a false sense of control and superiority, as if your problems make you the center of attention, as if you’ve got the biggest issue in the room. But where does that lead? Nowhere productive.

Here’s something you might not have thought about—when you complain, your body releases cortisol, the stress hormone. It’s a biological response, meant to prepare your body for action, to fight or flee from danger. Cortisol sharpens your mind, makes your heart beat faster, and prepares your muscles for whatever’s coming. In a real emergency, this hormone is a lifesaver, but when you’re just venting about your day? It’s doing unnecessary damage. Constant complaining floods your system with cortisol, and over time, this does real harm. Your brain starts craving that cortisol high, and before you know it, complaining becomes an addiction—a destructive habit you feed again and again. Your hippocampus, the part of your brain responsible for learning and memory, weakens. Your arteries tighten, raising your blood pressure. And all of this? It’s happening just because you couldn’t stop yourself from giving in to the momentary satisfaction of complaining.

Worse yet, when you make a habit out of complaining, it’s not just draining for you—it’s draining for everyone around you. Slowly, the people in your life will start stepping back. You might not even notice it at first, but little by little, your circle shrinks. No one wants to attend a pity party, no matter how much they care about you. People want to feel uplifted, inspired, or at the very least, be around those who seek solutions rather than dwelling in problems.

Now, here’s where the real shift happens. Instead of giving out endless invites to your own personal pity party, start flipping the script. People gravitate toward those who find solutions. You don’t need to solve world hunger in a single conversation—even finding a small solution to a minor issue is something worth sharing. When you do that, it creates a ripple effect. Others feel empowered, and they’re more likely to engage with you in positive, meaningful ways. It changes the entire energy of a conversation.

So, why is it so easy to fall into the complaining trap? Because our brains are wired to remember the negative. It’s a survival mechanism from way back when, when noticing threats in our environment kept us alive. But in today’s world, that wiring can work against us, making it easier to fixate on the bad while overlooking the good. However, there’s a powerful antidote to complaining—it’s gratitude. The two cannot coexist. Gratitude is a much more potent force, but it takes daily practice to override that instinctual pull toward negativity.

If you want to break free from the complaining cycle, here’s a simple two-step process you can start using right now. Step one, whenever you catch yourself about to complain, stop in your tracks. Don’t let yourself go down that road. Step two, immediately think of a solution. This will trigger a release of dopamine and serotonin, the feel-good chemicals that create a sense of accomplishment and well-being. Unlike the quick hit of cortisol that fades away fast, these happy hormones stick around longer, leaving you feeling genuinely uplifted and more energized to face the next challenge.

The magic here is that the more you practice this, the easier it becomes. Your brain starts to crave that longer-lasting satisfaction, and before long, you’ll find yourself focusing more on solutions than on problems. It’s a gradual shift, but one that has powerful long-term effects on both your mindset and the way people respond to you.

The truth is, we’re natural problem-solvers. It’s built into us. But we’ve got to be intentional about using that skill, and it starts by breaking the cycle of complaint and moving into a mindset of action and gratitude. When you do this, you transform not only how you handle challenges but how others see you. You go from being the person people avoid because of your negativity to someone others want to be around for your energy, optimism, and focus on growth.

So, the next time you’re tempted to complain, catch yourself. Flip it. Find a solution, no matter how small. And remember, gratitude is your most powerful weapon in this battle. Reflect on what’s going right, even when everything seems wrong. You’ll find that the more you practice this, the more natural it becomes. Soon, the invites to your pity party will be canceled for good, replaced by gatherings of celebration, growth, and shared joy.

Until next time, stay grounded, stay focused, and remember—keep on rising.

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