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Struggles have a way of defining us, shaping our character in ways comfort never could. They force us to dig deeper, to confront our limitations, and to grow beyond them. In a world that often glorifies ease and perfection, it’s easy to forget that the most meaningful victories are born from the hardest battles.

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Don’t Skip the Struggle – Life Stories 154

Today’s session delves into a reality we often avoid—embracing struggle. Now, as we get into today’s discussion, remember that the challenges you face aren’t just obstacles—they are the building blocks of strength and growth.

The Missing Piece in the “Perfect Life”

In one of the wealthiest areas of the United States—Silicon Valley—the teenage suicide rate is five times higher than the national average. Gunn High School in Palo Alto, one of the top five high schools in America, sends its students to elite universities like Stanford, Harvard, and Yale. Their parents have a median household income well above $120,000. On the surface, these kids seem to have everything: wealth, support, and endless opportunities. So why is it that, despite having everything, so many students feel hopeless?

It’s a harsh reality—when life is free of struggle, it often feels empty.

The Consequences of Removing Obstacles

We live in an age where comfort is celebrated, where success is defined by how easily we can provide for ourselves and others. Parents work hard to give their children the best: to protect them from pain, to smooth over the rough patches they themselves had to endure. It’s natural to want to shield those you love from difficulties, to make their lives easier and better than your own. But when you remove every obstacle, you’re also removing something crucial—the opportunity to build resilience, to find purpose, and to experience real satisfaction.

Without struggle, there’s no true growth. Without adversity, there’s no drive. We are hardwired to overcome problems, and when those problems are removed, we’re left without direction, without purpose. We risk creating a generation that is materially secure but emotionally and mentally fragile.

The False Promise of a Perfect Path

You see, we have this misconception that by eliminating struggles, we’re offering a better life. But in reality, we might be doing the opposite. We may be giving a life devoid of purpose, one that lacks the richness that comes from conquering difficulties. When everything is handed to you, you start to believe that life is supposed to be easy. But when life inevitably throws its first curveball, as it always does, the shock can be overwhelming. Suddenly, there’s no skill set to navigate challenges, no inner strength to draw from.

This isn’t just a parenting issue—it’s a societal one. In Western cultures, we often view struggle as a sign of weakness. We look down on people facing hard times, regardless of the circumstances that brought them there. We’ve become accustomed to hiding our own struggles, masking our imperfections, and presenting a polished, trouble-free facade to the world. But what we really need is to redefine our relationship with struggle, seeing it not as something to be eradicated, but as something to be confronted and learned from.

Embracing the Struggle

Other cultures understand this well. In Japan, for example, mathematics teachers don’t immediately provide answers. Instead, they let students wrestle with the problem until they find a solution on their own. It’s a core part of their educational philosophy because it builds problem-solving skills, resilience, and confidence. It teaches that the process of struggling is where the learning really happens.

This same principle applies to life. We discover who we are, what we’re made of, and what truly matters not when things are easy, but when they’re difficult. Struggles are an invitation to self-discovery—to understand our strengths, our weaknesses, and to uncover hidden aspects of our character. Without the struggle, we’re not just lost—we’re hollow.

The Price of Protection

For parents, this can be especially difficult to navigate. You want to protect your child, to make life smooth and easy. But by doing so, you might be unintentionally sending a damaging message: that they’re not capable of handling things on their own. That without your help, they will fail. This message undermines their confidence and leaves them feeling helpless and unworthy.

Struggles shape us. They help us see the value in the good people around us, and they make us appreciate our own capacity for resilience. When we avoid the struggle—whether it’s our own or that of a loved one—we rob ourselves and others of that vital learning and growth.

The Purpose of Struggling

Let’s get real for a moment: struggling is stressful. It’s exhausting, frustrating, and at times, it feels like there’s no way out. But it’s also invigorating. It wakes up your mind and pushes you to reach for solutions. That sense of achievement that comes from solving a problem—whether big or small—is what drives us forward. It fuels our motivation and passion. If you’re struggling right now, that longing for something better is your greatest driver. Don’t wish it away; embrace it. It’s shaping you into the person you need to become to handle the life you’re striving for.

What to Do if You’re in the Struggle

If you’re in a tough place right now, and every part of you just wants to escape—pause. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the struggle is the journey. Take it in, learn from it, and let it fuel you. And if you have a child, friend, or loved one who’s struggling, don’t immediately step in to fix it for them. Support them, be there, but let them experience it. They can do it on their own—trust that they have the strength to overcome.

Redefining the Struggle

We need to change the way we view problems and setbacks. Instead of seeing them as burdens, we need to see them as stepping stones. You might not know the story behind someone’s struggle, and you definitely don’t know the success that could come from it. The American political activist Thomas Paine once said during the American Revolutionary War, “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” He wasn’t just talking about battles—he was talking about life.

In Conclusion

So, don’t skip the struggle. Dive into it, confront it, learn from it. The struggle isn’t just something to endure—it’s something to conquer. It’s where the strength is built, where character is formed, and where true success lies. Don’t run from it. Embrace it. Because the only way out is through.

Until next time, keep pushing forward—you’re stronger than you think.

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