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Your presence matters. Stop shrinking yourself to fit into spaces where you already belong. Stand tall, own your voice, and take up the room you deserve. Confidence isn’t just a feeling—it’s a decision. Decide today that you are enough, that you belong, and that the world will hear you.

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Own Your Space – Life Stories 195

Have you ever been in a queue and felt someone behind you invading your space? Or perhaps you’ve noticed how some people dominate the gym, spreading their belongings across multiple areas, almost as if staking a claim. It’s not inherently wrong to occupy space, yet often, in response to such people, we unconsciously shrink ourselves. We back into corners or pull away, trying to take up as little room as possible. It may seem harmless at first, but when you consistently make yourself smaller, you’re sending a message—unintentionally signaling that your space is free for others to encroach upon, and you won’t object.

Your space is more than physical; it’s a representation of your voice, your presence, and your belief in your own worth. If you want to be heard, you need to move through the world as if it belongs to you, just like those who effortlessly take up space do. Taking up space isn’t selfish or arrogant. It doesn’t mean there’s less room for others. The world isn’t a zero-sum game when it comes to presence. If you allow the belief that you must always make way for others to shape your behavior, you’ll end up feeling overwhelmed and invisible in a world that seems too vast and crowded.

Standing your ground is about embracing your opinions and recognizing your own value. At some point, you’ll encounter people who think you don’t belong in certain spaces—those who believe you lack the right connections, the right look, the right background, or the right credentials to fit in. If you accept their judgment and retreat, you’re essentially giving them permission to decide your worth. But you don’t have to do that.

Take it from someone who’s navigated many such rooms. Shonda Rhimes, the creator behind iconic TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, has been there. Her advice is straightforward: your sole job is to decide that you belong in every room you find yourself in. That’s it. Once you decide that, you stay put. It might seem daunting if you’ve spent years trying to blend into the background, but learning to claim your space is essential.

Every time you shrink away or retreat to a corner to avoid others, you’re gradually silencing your voice. The more you pull back, the quieter your self-belief becomes, and over time, it risks fading into a faint whisper. Confidence and a clear sense of your own power don’t come from approval—they’re built by your own decision to take up space, to stand tall and claim what’s yours. When you walk into unfamiliar places, remember: you belong there. Whether it’s your first time at a swanky country club or in a boardroom meeting, you have a right to be there just as much as anyone else.

Research shows how much impact your physical presence has on how others perceive you. A study featuring just a 30-second clip of a doctor interacting with a patient found that judgments about the doctor’s demeanor—not their skills—predicted whether they’d face lawsuits. It wasn’t about their competence; it was about their body language, their presence. It’s a phenomenon social psychologists call “non-verbal expressions of power.” In both human and animal behavior, power is communicated through expansive postures. You stretch out, fill the space, and open up. These gestures are ancient and universal.

When someone expands, others naturally react by making themselves smaller. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist who’s spent years studying body language, noticed this dynamic among her students at Harvard. Some would enter the classroom confidently, occupying space, while others tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. Those who claimed space participated more actively, and because classroom participation was a significant part of their grades, the difference was striking. Despite being equally qualified, the gap in outcomes grew.

Curious about whether “faking it” could actually lead to real change, Cuddy and fellow researcher Dana Carney conducted a study that revealed something powerful. By adopting certain poses associated with confidence and dominance—standing tall, arms spread wide, shoulders back—participants could not only appear more powerful but actually start to feel that way. It wasn’t just an act; the physical act of taking up space influenced their minds. They became more optimistic, confident, and even more likely to take risks.

You see, shrinking yourself doesn’t just limit your impact—it limits your potential. If you want to feel stronger, start by adopting power poses that open you up. Stand with your feet firmly planted, your arms spread, your head held high. Let your presence fill the room. Your confidence will follow suit.

So, don’t wait for permission. Decide today that you belong wherever you stand. Push out the boundaries of your space. Make your voice, your opinions, and your presence felt. Because you deserve to take up space. The world is big enough for all of us to spread our wings, so start flying.

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