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Failure sticks with us far longer than it does with anyone else. While we dwell on our missteps, the world remembers our wins. What if the key to success isn’t avoiding failure—but refusing to let it define you? The difference between those who make it and those who don’t isn’t luck—it’s knowing which moments truly matter.

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Remember Your Home Runs – Life Stories 259

Today, we’re talking about something we’ve all experienced: mistakes. Maybe you’ve failed at something recently, or maybe you’ve felt like giving up because you just didn’t have the energy to keep pushing through. It’s a tough place to be, and it can feel embarrassing. You might even want to hide away so you don’t have to face anyone. Trust me, we get it. But here’s something crucial to remember: people rarely hold on to the memory of your failures as much as you do.

In those early moments after not meeting your goal, it can feel like that’s all anyone thinks about when they see you. But in reality, people tend to remember your successes far more than your missteps. It’s important to understand that while you might fixate on your failures, most people aren’t thinking about them nearly as much. That dark cloud hanging over your head, weighing down your thoughts—it’s often only visible to you.

We’re naturally wired to focus on the negative. Our brains have a built-in negativity bias, which means we pay more attention to bad news, failures, and mistakes than we do to positive outcomes. This bias impacts our behavior, our decisions, our relationships, and most importantly, how we view our own mistakes.

Think about a mistake you’ve made recently. Maybe you dropped the ball at work, costing your team time or money. Perhaps you forgot something important, like picking up your kids or making dinner plans with your partner. Even small mistakes can linger in our minds, leaving us feeling anxious every time we think about them.

Here’s the kicker: our brains do this for a reason. Research shows that our minds are more motivated by the idea of losing something than by the idea of gaining something. This is why we fixate on failure—our brains are trying to prevent us from making the same mistake again. When you mess up, your brain sends reminders of the sting of that failure, the embarrassment, and the discomfort so you won’t repeat it. But while this can help us avoid future mistakes, it also leads us to unfairly believe that failures are entirely our fault. They weigh heavier, feel more significant, and seem more valid than they really are.

Our brains haven’t quite caught up with the pace of modern life. We still process mistakes as if they’re major threats, even when they’re relatively minor. But dwelling on them doesn’t help—I’m sure you’ve tried that already, only to find yourself thinking about the mistake over and over again.

Instead of fighting those feelings, sometimes leaning into them can help you process them faster. But here’s the most important takeaway: others aren’t thinking about your mistakes nearly as much as you are. You might feel embarrassed, but trust me, people remember the home runs, not the strikeouts.

Take Reggie Jackson, for example. Even if you’re not a baseball fan, you’ve likely heard of him. Jackson played 21 seasons in Major League Baseball, hit 536 home runs, and was an American League All-Star for 14 seasons. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. But here’s something you might not know: Jackson also holds the record for the most strikeouts in MLB history—2,600 times. Yet, when people talk about Reggie Jackson, they remember the home runs, not the missed swings.

Why? Because what matters is not the mistakes we make, but how we come back from them. Jackson didn’t let those strikeouts define his career. He kept swinging, and each time he did, he had the chance to hit another home run. That’s why he’s remembered—not for his failures, but for his resilience and his triumphs.

Whatever mistakes you’ve made in life, however you’ve messed up, know that it’s time to stop fixating on them. The people around you are far less concerned with your failures than you think. They’re not holding on to your stumbles the way you are. Most likely, they’ve moved on, and they’ll continue to believe in you as long as you keep moving forward. It’s time for you to believe in yourself, too.

So, when you feel bogged down by a mistake, remember Reggie Jackson. Remember that every strikeout brings you closer to a home run, and people will remember the home runs. Your missteps aren’t the story that defines you; your resilience, your perseverance, and your next move forward—that’s what people will remember.

Let go of the sting of failure, and focus on the victories. You’ve hit plenty of home runs already, and there are more to come.

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