The Trap of Needing to Be Exceptional – Life Stories 338




The Trap of Needing to Be Exceptional – Life Stories 338

We all chase success in one way or another—whether that’s through career achievements, a fulfilling family life, fame, or simply a sense of personal growth. It’s natural to want more, to push ourselves to do something meaningful. But when that desire turns into a need to be exceptional, it starts to work against us. Striving to be one of a kind in a world of eight billion may sound inspiring, but needing to be the best can actually sabotage the happiness and satisfaction we seek.

Let’s take a moment to explore this idea more closely. To be exceptional means standing out, reaching a level of skill or accomplishment that only a few can achieve. But in today’s globalized world, where we’re not just competing with our local community but with people from every corner of the planet, the bar for what it takes to be considered exceptional keeps rising. Even if you narrow your focus to your city or country, the level of competition is still staggering. The harsh reality is that, statistically speaking, being truly extraordinary is an unlikely outcome for most. Yet, many of us still feel compelled to chase that one-in-a-million status.

There’s a significant difference between aiming high and feeling like we must achieve an exceptional level to be content or valuable. The trouble arises when our desire to be outstanding morphs into a need. When we think, “I need to do something extraordinary for my life to have meaning,” we set ourselves up for a cycle of stress, disappointment, and frustration. It’s a trap that makes us equate our worth with our achievements, measuring our value against impossibly high standards that leave little room for satisfaction.

In psychology, the distinction between wants and needs is critical. Wants are desires that bring us joy or satisfaction when fulfilled, but we can still live without them. Needs, however, are essentials for survival—food, water, shelter, and safety. The problem comes when our minds trick us into believing that our wants, like the urge to be exceptional, are actually needs. The want to stand out becomes a perceived necessity, leading to constant pressure and a lingering sense of inadequacy when we fall short.

Consider this for a moment: What if you became highly skilled in certain areas, earning the respect and admiration of those around you, but never reached a level that could be considered exceptional? What’s the worst that would happen? You might feel a tinge of disappointment or frustration, but with some reflection, you’d likely come to realize that life would go on—and it could still be a fulfilling one. The pursuit of being “the best” isn’t the only path to a meaningful existence.

The societal narrative often reinforces the notion that we must be extraordinary to be valued. We’re bombarded with messages from media, parents, teachers, and even advertising that suggest life is only worth living if we achieve greatness. In some families, children grow up with the feeling that they’re never quite good enough, where every mistake is met with criticism and successes are taken for granted. These experiences teach us to chase an elusive ideal, leaving us trapped in a cycle where nothing ever feels like enough.

This relentless pursuit creates a rat race mentality, where no matter how much we accomplish, there’s always another level to reach. We end up neglecting to appreciate our achievements because we’re too focused on the next goal, the next rung on the ladder. The irony is, the more we strive for this kind of excellence, the emptier we often feel, as if the finish line keeps moving farther away.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow offered a healthier perspective on human growth, suggesting that the highest aspiration isn’t to be exceptional, but to seek self-actualization. Self-actualization is about becoming the best version of yourself—not by society’s standards, but in terms of your own potential. It’s the journey of lifelong growth, learning, and exploration. It’s about using your talents and skills to contribute to something greater than yourself. Unlike the pursuit of exceptionalism, self-actualization isn’t about reaching a final destination; it’s a continuous path of betterment that evolves with you over time.

Choosing to focus on self-actualization rather than exceptionalism allows you to engage fully with your life without the burden of unrealistic expectations. It’s about committing to growth, using your abilities wisely, and recognizing that you don’t need to be the best to live a rewarding life. When you let go of the need to be exceptional, you can truly appreciate the journey and make the most of the opportunities you have.

Remember, success isn’t about being one in a million. It’s about making the most of who you are and what you have, living in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to you. Letting go of the pressure to be extraordinary might just be the key to finding the happiness and fulfillment you’ve been looking for.





SHARE THIS STORY



Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *